Hollywood tech BS: CSI:NY/Second Life crossover
Maybe I’m just getting cranky in my old age, but I’m really getting tired of overblown Hollywood BS about computer, internet, and telecommunications technology.
It’s Friday night, the wife and I really have nothing planned, so we turn on the TV and watch a DVR’d episode of CSI: New York (“Down the Rabbit Hole”, aired October 24th, 2007). This episode happens to deal with a murder that’s related to Linden Research’s online virtual world Second Life. I know of Second Life, know a few people who hang out in it and make a little money through it, but I personally never really took any interest in it. TV shows are always going to tie in what they believe is “up and coming” right now – I’ve seen a fair amount of it that references sites similar to MySpace, YouTube, and Digg; I’ve also seen quite a bit of name dropping involving Fox and MySpace, since News Corp owns both. However, this CBS and Linden tie-in CSI:NY episode really takes the cake.
I found myself repeatedly yawning and about to doze off at the CSI:NY Second Life in-game cruft – and that’s after sucking down an entire caffeine-filled energy drink. I seriously am questioning if people actually found this entertaining.
Now, to mention the technical inaccuracies. I usually cut TV shows a little slack when it comes to tech issues. Sure, you tracked a cellphone call to an EXACT address in about 30 seconds via some blinking GUI interface without assistance from cellular network technicians, or you were able to match the DNA of an eyelash to the half-sister of your suspect through an elaborately flashy DNA sequence scanning computer, fine. A little glitz with some funky background music is okay; I don’t know everything there is to know about physical evidential forensics and I don’t expect everyone to have supreme knowledge about computers and telecom.
However, there’s a line that I have to draw. This was such a tech-heavy episode that I couldn’t help but to be a extremely critical:
- Finding a user’s exact location from an IP address (even for law enforcement) isn’t a 10 second job involving Google Earth. Doing it 3 times in an episode without so much as a call to a judge, legal process served on an ISP, or a threat of physical violence against some poor sysadmin is pushing it. Yet somehow, both law enforcement and regular users can not only snag another user’s IP (which is not revealed in-world), but almost instantaneously figure out exactly where they are physically.
- Using a monaural Bluetooth headset for audio but going all-out on the wireless numeric keypad to control your SL character seems a little silly. I think I’d prioritize stereo sound over being able to walk around while making my character… walk around.
- With a lab full of workstations, racks full of Apple Xserve’s (from the looks of it), and huge displays, you’d think that a firewall/packet filter would be part of the setup, but nope; one isn’t turned on until after the network is attacked in an online game. Once again, priorities.
- Claiming that a single user can jump between 802.11 wireless access points all over Manhattan from a single location is quite a stretch. I know some RF technicians (and likely some FCC enforcement folks) who would be VERY interested in talking with them.
- Even in NYC, cosplaying weirdos wouldn’t make it very far undetected. Especially when a APB/BOLO is issued for some freak with a bizarre clothing description, weird contact lenses, and spiky green hair.
- Thanks for trying to convince us that every grungy auto mechanic who doesn’t know much about computers can easily design and sell objects in Second Life, and be highly successful at it.
- Having a full-figured female escape through an average-sized laundry chute is beyond ludicrous.
I stick to my guns that the last one is technical; having two objects occupy the same space breaks the laws of physics.
In closing, I just found the whole show to be nothing more than a poor excuse for advertising Second Life. I generally like CSI:NY, but truly hope this isn’t a glimpse into the future of the show — or TV in general.